I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
