There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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