D3 body, D1 cock
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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