Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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