Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
