hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
