you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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