Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We have started to decorate penises.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
