i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
