I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
