He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
