dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
