We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't deserve a penis
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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