If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
