K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize