If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
