Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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