Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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