ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
