I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
