I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
