I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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