i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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