so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
