You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
