why didn't you poke me back
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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