saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
