his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
