please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
