you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
