He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
