"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I have tasted many bathrooms
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