So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
