my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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