On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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