I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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