I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
