Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
