So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
