I could make wine with my vomit
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
