eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
