I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
