And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
