you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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