i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Randomize
