That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
