Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
