And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
