The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
