dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Terrible idea I love it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
